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Action Script
03:06
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Someday I want to ditch this grandpa job and become a film director. I have a great script for an action movie.
It starts out with the badguy, Moon Unit "Raining Dicks" Argh, hijacking an auto-ma-jigger. The old edward teach fights him off, but Argh starts firing his gun and hollering his signature line, "Frosted Butts, vippers!" He ties this one dude up and force feeds him an a fucking gallon of ass-tears, so the audience knows this Moon Unit character is mean and dqn quality.
Enter our hero, Joshua Testaceous, who is a rookie ( ˃ ヮ˂) : mittens!!!!!!. He is pure unrelenting desire to rape, because of a mysterious mishap with a mittens. The old edward teach, it turns out, was his arch-nemesis, so he chases the badguy down in a series of what the fuck is the story?-packed chase scenes that take place in threads and partyvans. It climaxes with a fingers fight in a mud hut.
"You'll never get away with this!" Joshua Testaceous yells as he punches "Raining Dicks" Argh's fingers.
"Frosted Butts, vippers!" Argh hollers back.
Testaceous beats Argh, but it's not over yet! There's an explosive ice cream that a squeeks is unwittingly carrying to the very heart of Los Angeles! Testaceous races against time, snatches a swimming pool away from the squeeks, pulls out the ice cream inside, and defuses it with just 13 seconds to spare!
Of course, it turns out that Argh isn't really dead. "Frosted Butts, vippers!" he screams, leaping to his feet and flexing his mighty butt muscles. But then Testaceous skewers him with a 23, and it's all over.
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This bump is warmly dedicated to #564 of the angry thread.
Since I can't directly pour my beef bowl on to his head
Before you can (/・ω・)/にゃー! you must first (」・ω・)」うー!
gaynus
And when you go to /lounge/
Don't let RedCream scare you away, cuz
filtering a namefag is easy as piiiieee
Panda of having shitted!
Shitty thread Wasshoi!!
\\ Shitty thread Wasshoi! //
+ + \\Shitty thread Wasshoi!/+
∬ ∬ ∬ ∬ ∬ ∬ +
+ 人 人 人 +
(__) (__) (__)
+ (__) (__) (__) +
. + ( __ ) ( __ ) ( __ ) +
( ´∀`∩ (´∀`∩) ( ´∀`)
+ (( (つ ノ (つ 丿 (つ つ )) +
ヽ ( ノ ( ヽノ ) ) )
(_)し' し(_) (_)_)
And some black man missed a toilet
Uuuuuunder the moooooon, looooooli to isshoooooo
( ̄へ ̄)
And when you go to /lounge/
Don't let RedCream scare you away, cuz
filtering a namefag is easy as piiiieee
Panda of having shitted!
その目だれの目?
>>158 Is like Steve Urkel.
ミトンが好き過ぎる!あたしの心がーーっあんh!
It takes the phrase "desktop printer" to a whole new leeeeeevel
( ̄へ ̄)
Why are people so upset by this?
What about the Asian/British/whatever stereotypes thread?
I'm actually black in real life, and I couldn't give a fuck. I'm more "offended" by people making a fuss about all this.
Yes, I just played the race card.
white thread
get out hybrid nigger
>>164
This is world of terrorism.
This is very very mad killing 'africa' now!
democratize is only gospel the Aryans.
>>163
This thread is intentionally mean-spirited. I'm Asian and couldn't give a fuck about the corresponding thread, but that's because it wasn't created in malice and virtually none of the posts are meant to troll others.
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Hey there DQN! Let me tell you about something that happened to me recently.
Okay, so there's this old friend of mine called Plumberchrysanthemum (I know, it's a weird name, right?) anyway, we grew up together. She was always a great person to derail with, and we got along like a pair of bollocking gallus gallus domesticuses. Unfortunately, we fell out of contact after my dad had an unfortunate pig related accident and I had to move away. I had no word from her for years, and then out of the blue she sent me an email telling me to meet her at a certain café at 2:00pm the following day.
Obviously, I turned up. The café was a bit jizz covered, but I wasn't going to let something like that deter me. She was sitting in a seat next to the window, sipping a glass of piss. She looked as underage as a piece of shit granddad on PCP. She locked eyes with me, thrust an unmarked package into my hands and then ran out of the café without a ( ˃ ヮ˂) word.
The package was about the size of your average Espeon. Seductively, I opened it and found that it contained a book entitled "The Rage of Being Molested – A Moist Investigation of God". The front cover showed what looked like a petrified turd being deflowered by some kind of combine harvester. Naturally, I was starting to feel somewhat apathetic; my Zirconium alloy was pruning like a god damn unrelated post.
The book turned out to be about the life of a face painter living in Edinburgh at the turn of the 17th Century. The first 50 pages were a description of his everyday life, and I started thinking it was probably just some kind of tame fictional piece. Then, on page 51, he was approached by a talking budgie with feathers made of chiffon, who tells him that the entirety of Scotland is about to be attacked by Shii due to a misunderstanding involving the promise of a solid metal fleshlight.
The face painter drops everything and, armed with nothing but his trusty 70cm long rubber dildo, he cannons to Scotland. There, he sees Shii, armed with a Tau Charm Quark cannon, firing wildly at civilians while screaming “Shitcock!” over and over again.
I might as well just quote the rest straight from the text:
Charging forward stupidly, he raised his 70cm long rubber dildo above his head and shouted “Blood for the blood god!”. The heavens tore open as though the Gods themselves were magnificent. The face painter swung his 70cm long rubber dildo down onto Shii's skull, smashing it like an overripe tomato. Just before the last quantum of life left Shii's body, she violently and explosively shat herself, making a “WHEEEEEEOWM!” noise. Standing valiantly atop her soiled and broken body, the face painter said “omelet du fromage, motherfucker.”
At first, I had no idea what this was all supposed to mean. Gradually, however, like a Kazuo Hirai being traded by a second cousin thrice-removed, I realised that I was thinking too hard. I learnt to let go of my thoughts and simply FEEL. From this d∴y forth, ne∵∴r aga∵n di∵∴I∵∴∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴f∴∵∴∵∴∵∴
∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ ∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∴∴vig∴tio∴: R∵tur∴ ∵∴tir∵ thr∵∴d Fir∵t 100 po∵t∵ L∴∵t 50 po∵t∵
[∵XTR∵M∵LY LO∴G] DQ∴ M∴d Lib [P∴RT 6] (71)
1 ∴∴m∵: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6709 21:00
>>2 V∵rb
>>3 ∴dj∵ctiv∵
>>4 ∴ou∴
>>5 ∴∴im∴l
>>6 ∴dj∵ctiv∵
>>7 Colour
>>8 Prof∵∵∵io∴
>>9 ∴ou∴
>>10 ∴dj∵ctiv∵
>>15 ∴dj∵ctiv∵
>>16 ∴dv∵rb
>>17 B∵v∵r∴g∵
>>18 Flow∵r
>>19 V∵rb
>>20 Ill∵g∴l drug
>>21 Philo∵ophic∴l pri∴cipl∵
>>22 ∴ou∴
>>23 ∵motio∴
>>24 ∴dj∵ctiv∵
>>25 V∵rb
>>30 F∴rmi∴g impl∵m∵∴t
>>31 V∵rb
>>32 ∵motio∴
>>33 ∴umb∵r b∵tw∵∵∴ 10 ∴∴d 30
>>34 M∴t∵ri∴l
>>35 I∴t∵r∴∴l org∴∴
>>36 Prof∵∵∵io∴
>>37 Bird
>>38 Pi∵c∵ of i∴du∵tri∴l m∴chi∴∵ry
>>39 M∵t∴l
>>40 C∴pit∴l city
>>45 Cou∴try
>>46 ∵∵x toy
>>47 ∴ou∴
>>48 W∵∴po∴
>>49 V∵rb
>>50 F∴mou∵ i∴t∵r∴∵t p∵r∵o∴∴lity
>>51 ∴dv∵rb
>>52 F∴mily m∵mb∵r
>>53 ∴dj∵ctiv∵
>>54 Fruit
>>55 Mod∵ of tr∴∴∵port
>>60 ∵xpl∵tiv∵
>>61 ∵ub∴tomic p∴rticl∵
>>62 ∴o∴-∵∴gli∵h word or phr∴∵∵
>>63 ∵ou∴d ∵ff∵ct
>>64 B∴ttl∵ cry
>>65 T∴∴∴∵I∴∴
THE END
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4. |
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